"Van" Narrative

Hey all, here we wanted to look back on the story, its development and the efforts put into creating the final script. In charge of Narrative was Devon Stewart who worked alongside the original writer to develop a legit script and also make and suggest alterations to story to bring clarity, improvements, and a different perspective. Devon and our other team members on Narrative were very precise, finding problem areas that were otherwise overlooked, and hearing the concerns from other team members as issues or confusion may arise from the rest of the team reading the script. Just as important as creating a story that would hit the narrative beats we wanted, we also had to be sure that all other teams understood the story based on the script as it was the best way we could communicate the vision of the story when we couldn't meet everyone or explain any time we wanted.

And this certainly was a time filled with pressure, because the job that rests on your shoulders in this position is that the story needs to come out the other end in a working state, or everything afterwards falls apart. This area had a special kind of deadline, the kind that doesn't end with completion, but rather with satisfaction on a number of levels. Narrative had to feel good about it, our higher ups needed to feel good about it, and the rest of our team needed to feel good about it, as much as possible. Faith is what we were making sure we didn't lose, and with every iteration and edit we had to make to the script this pressure was on.

Well, that sounded pretty dramatic. Truth be told however, the team did have fun, coming up with ideas, brainstorming solutions, and while there were definitely hard times and rough meetings, there was a sense of fulfillment. We heard stories of people on the team who had actually spoken with Narrative and told them they liked where the story was going, and this was a huge relief on their shoulders, and really helped the the team keep going strong.

Before we get into it, let's thank all of our team members that worked on this phase with us:

Elsa Lievin

Alysha Nunez

Chris Barron

Devon Stewart - Narrative Lead

And in a way, a lot of people contributed to the narrative in the club, either indirectly, or through some of the feedback or reactions we were hearing from other team members, so thanks to everyone for helping to improve the vision of the project!

"Van" was initially pitched as a story about a girl and her father who struggle with loss in their own ways, which leads them to neglect or be absent minded of the other's needs. The father becomes more reserved, and the daughter tries to "run away from home" and be with the largest piece of memory she had of her sister, the travel Van she owned. The story also serves to tell the story of a character who is no longer there through the use of the environment and props in the story. The Van is a vehicle for the daughter's escapism and connection to her sister.

Early drawings shown along with the pitch.

As for the actual final story of "Van", it began, as most stories do, a bit differently than how it ended up. The overall point of the story did not change much, but aspects of elements within the story did, such as the location of the Van which was originally concepted as being much further from home. The original plan was to make the silent story about the older sister more visually heavy through the Van's placement and even physical state. However narrative decided it would be best to make a clear decision on the tone of the story, and the point we were trying to make, and how much we maybe shouldn't tell.

A lot of time was spent figuring out ways to make the story more nuanced in the visual storytelling and clarifying areas of confusion or coincidence. The ending being one of those areas, as the original ending was actually a scene earlier. In the first draft, the moments of the aftermath of the Van getting drenched brings the Father to reach out to her to make amends and connect, but ultimately we felt this was not only too sudden, but also too convenient. We had made a point throughout the story to demonstrate the broken connection the daughter has with the Father and so a conclusion of this kind here just felt too soon. Not to mention, in the chaos of the father rushing to the aid of his daughter who he had now realized he neglected for too long, rushing down and hoping it isn't too late, it felt a little too convenient that he would also make the time to grab a wrench and think to offer his help to her...in the rain.

Moments like these are the kind that might sound good on paper but once people start asking questions, then it starts to sink in. We came across other things like this, such as the logistics behind the distance of the Van and the house, how neglectful the father could be before we risk making him appear more like a jerk and less sympathetic.

The most complicated scene we had to deal with was the dream scene. At some point in the story, the daughter sleeps in the Van and has a dream that slowly turns into a nightmare. This was also to serve as a transition to the intensity of the scene just after, when the father awakes to a storm and he fears for his daughter's safety. The reason the dream was so difficult to write for was that it is very organic. We had to make sure that we wrote this scene in a way that was clear for the reader to understand; this script was going to be read by the rest of the team and we had to make sure it made sense so that everyone is on the same page. But we also had to make sure that the idea was convincing enough to sell the idea.

In the early stages, this scene started very abstract in meaning. We had a rough storyboard of it, but the issue came when we realized some people just didn't quite know what it meant and what was the point. And that was a big question, if its insubstantial, then what exactly is the point? We needed to be sure that we found some way to make the scene make sense as far as why it is in there, and have more of an impact if it really is meant to be the turning point.

Revisions for this scene happened the most, and we had to storyboard along with the revisions so that we could show it to other members, get feedback, and then try again if needed. There's more about that in the storyboarding post, but some changes we made began to take some direction. At some point the inclusion of the sister became a thing that we added, but only as a part of the dream. We started to see the potential of the things we see in this scene as what is on the girl's mind as opposed to just abstract concepts and so it felt like a stronger emotional direction to include her. The storm concluding at the end was more of a literal form as we thought that if a storm was brewing outside in reality, the sounds of this may affect what she feels in her dream, and this could be a segway into the next scene.

The idea of showing the audience the father as the one who snaps awake after this was in part a way to try and make a connection. If the daughter had her older sister on her mind, maybe all that was on the father's mind. It was an idea that we felt could be interesting and we had also wanted to finally see something from the father's perspective here as this is to be a turning point for the both of them.

Along the way we started to tell that this story isn't just about the daughter's journey, but both of theirs. The main thing that we kept in mind was that neither of them are wrong in the way that they feel, yet both are in need of mutual closure. Showing the father's devastation in this moment we felt was a good direction to go, sort of as his snapping out of it moment, but the next part was something we needed to be careful with too.

The aftermath scene was sort of unique in that this wasn't really the scene of the father saving the day that people may have thought it would be. It's a moment of powerlessness that we showed in both of them here. The father who felt like he may be too late runs out there as fast as he can, and when we see the daughter, she's not in danger or in need of saving, but standing powerless to stop the Van from being taken by the elements. In this moment the father didn't make it in time to be a hero, the damage is already done and thankfully she is ok, but our intent was to strike a chord in the father. He had experienced true failiure here, and now he is aware enough to notice; the girl on the other hand has had a touch of reality in a way she cannot control. Likewise with the girl, her defiance and lack of connection with her father has brought her to believe that she didn't need him and she wanted to be independent like her sister. But in this moment we actually take away her main source of rebellion. At this moment they're both now at a very weak point and we thought this was a way to go about reaching their mutual ending.

A hug only really felt warranted if they both felt they needed each other. We also didn't want it to be too immediate, we wanted it to take its time and let the daughter think it through. So in a way this route is a bit untraditional. We brought these characters to a change through powerlessness rather than having them a part of a climactic moment. There was a bit of debate about whether this was a satisfying way to conclude that, but we felt it was the way that made the most sense to us given the overall tone. These character's attitudes in this story are the result of a grief that they haven't gotten over, not so much that this is how life had always been.

On another note, we had a relatively fun scene on our hands that was intended to be a bit lighter and full of visual humor. The kitchen scene was something we wanted to work well in terms of its timing, but we needed to be sure we got this across in the script as well. Making it too quick would be problematic since some of the key points wouldn't have enough time to breathe, and too slow would just add a lot of time to the production and animation time. Finding out a balance and order of events for how things would play out here was important for us to make clear, especially if we added elements that were relatively more abstract.

There were further opportunities for having a bit more depth in the emotions of each moment. We didn't want this film to always follow a single tone, but to have some high moments, some low moments, and be sure that these felt appropriate.

Other key aspects such as logistical matters, key visual elements that needed to be present, and any added flavor we could add to the descriptions to help the design process were all very important details to keep track of and plan carefully. Any additions we made we had to be sure served the story in some way and wasn't unnecessary filler detail. We had faith in the other group's abilities to innovate and come up with other interesting ideas that didn't need to be entirely described in detail, like what specifically fills up a room aside from what needs to be there for the narrative. Or the nuance in a character's acting that would be better interpreted by an animator who studies movement.

We could go on for a long time about the different routes of what we could have done and what we took out or experimented with, but frankly that would take a very very long time. We tried to hit as many highlights as we could. This process was very educational, not just in finding out how to make this particular type of story work, but also in finding out how to work with people you haven't worked with before. The team project in general is something always challenging as it carries a series of unpredictability. You can't really prepare for it, but learning how to go about speaking with others, making compromises, and hearing ideas out makes the process much more stable, and these are things everyone on the team got some experience in through this.

Again we also encourage you all to check out the storyboarding team's work to see more of the iteration process from the drawing side of things!